I wish you the best, which just doesn’t feel like enough.

Tony

Though you don’t use the word, what you are feeling, emotionally and physically is just dreadful. Of course you would expect to feel better having gotten out of the hospital–you are a hopeful person! George was in the hospital a bit ago with a kidney stone and we remembered how exhausted one gets simply being there. You and Charles were already tired when you got there, and the rollercoaster ride you have been on since then would knock the socks off anyone.

So, this is what I am thinking….maybe you need someone to give you a Permission Slip. Esther and Mira gave me one of these a long time ago. I am passing it on.

Ahem. **Official Permission is now granted to the Intended Recipient of this email to feel hopeless, crappy, disgusted, in pain; and to weep, wail, and gnash her teeth. (Privilege to do same is granted to Spouse, if needed.) Such permission is granted for three days, or as long as she deems necessary, whichever comes first. Also included is the proviso that one empty syringe be left at home the next time, just to make the doctor crazy.**

Seriously, did the nurse teach you how to pinch a fold of skin on your abdomen to put the needle in? Some people find it much less painful to do it that way.

What you wrote and did today was in the ancient tradition of lament. I will end this day by joining in your lament, and bringing your sorrow and exhaustion before our God. As you did, and as I will, too, the laments we are familiar with end with a hopeful word of trust and faith.

Julian of Norwich has wise words for us tonight: “And all will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things will be well.”

Strength and Peace,
Carolyn